Refreshingly honest and forthcoming, in a way that invites others to do the same. She has had the distinct honor i. You want to say hello, do it. I guarded against potential vulnerability by acting out of alignment with how I really felt. In other words, I sent texts that I just wish I hadn't. And though I attempted to backpedal and just be myself, what was done was done. Alas, there isn't an "undo" button on a text message. I'm very clear now that acting against my authentic self actually feels way worse than the rejection or disappointment that may have come my way.
Because I know that the reward could have been way greater than the risk. Fundamentally, dating should be all about love and desire and fun, right? But it's so obvious that we won't really fully get that outcome if we don't have the courage to put our real selves out there. We will only truly experience meaningful connection with another when we're just our raw, real, totally vulnerable selves. Yes, it's hard to move beyond the ego trip and the push and shove of the dating world, the fear of rejection and hurt and some inevitable disappointment.
But what is being inauthentic costing you? Decide what you want. Know what you deserve. Figure out what you can't live without, how you want to be treated and who you want to be as a partner. Stand fully in yourself and your truth, and trust that the right people will come, and the others will fall away. Be the person you want to date.
And be brave -- because this whole dating scene takes serious courage. But it's not nearly as overwhelming or difficult once you know and honor your truest, most wonderfully lovable self. Alexis is the host of Borrowed Wisdom for Love -- an interview series featuring top dating, love and relationship experts. Check it out at www. The process of getting to know each one is, at best, imperfect. The nature of the situation means that individuals who reach out, stand up, speak up, smile and initiate get more attention and more consideration.
By waiting for the man to call, a woman may be reducing the chances that a particular connection will jump to the next level. In the online world, if you are interested in a particular match, ACTION is almost always the best policy. Men are often trained that they should initiate. Just remember, online dating is a whole new world, and the old rules of conduct may not apply. In fact, in surveys of eHarmony men, the vast majority are flattered by and receptive to a woman who takes the initiative and reaches out for contact.
It also helps to remember what this first call is and what it is not. It is a conversation. The person who feels a connection first should make the call — regardless of their gender.
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