City Paper Dating

KAPEIKA27.06.2017

I am not alone in my experience as a failed chill girl. Needless to say, my aformentioned relationship didn't last. After some grumbling I realized that I wasn't so fond of quiet-guy after all; we were both OK how we were, just not together. I accepted that I am not, nor will I ever be, a chill girl. Earlier this month I read the New York Times article, "The Universal Phenomenon of Men Interrupting Women," which outlines two separate incidents of men shaming women for "talking too much.

I felt a pang of familiarity and, in a brief moment of despondency, hopelessness. That thought evaporated, sure, I'm not that dramatic because to be that, would be bad. But the NYT article struck a chord. I thought both about workplace habits, but also about the habits we create and encourage in our personal lives. All of my years of wanting to be a chill girl had led me on many failed dates, some soul-searching, and an angsty blog post or two.

But until I saw two powerful women get shut down, publicly, I hadn't thought about how being a chill girl had seeped into my work life. Gays and lesbians are about 2 to 5 percent of the population. The pickings for us are just too slim. But you have a right to your feelings, EBAC, and you should go ahead and feel the shit out of your pissed-and-hurt feelings. So avoid your exes for now—why salt your wounds by hanging out with them?

The odds that these guys will be together forever are pretty slim. Or, more likely, you might want to be friends with one or the other or both of them once your hurt has burned off. Do you want them to say you revealed yourself to be an angry and vindictive psycho when they got together? My own tastes, though, are more vanilla.

Some of the things that would be most satisfying to me—cunnilingus, him being a little dominant sometimes, and, honestly, French kissing—have been absent from our sex. In some cases, cheating is the least worst option for all involved the cheater, the cheated, their dependents. In others, cheating saves marriages that needed saving. In still others, cheating ends marriages that needed ending. Need some advice where and how to meet other gay men!!! Also, HIV is a concern!!! Any other advice would be appreciated!!!

Of HIV or anything else!!! But consider getting on PrEP!!! And stop calling yourself straight!!!


City Paper Dating


Terrible Online Dating Experiences Become Art at Flashpoint's #thisiswhyimsingle

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