So what's it like as a single parent stepping back out onto the dating scene? Does it change things immensely, or is it just a case of simply taking up where you left off? Bronwen Lane, a single mum, has been dating for a number of years and, up until recently, predominantly used online sites to meet people. Whilst Lane doesn't believe that being a single parent has affected her dating as such, she does recognise that she has to be extra vigilant when it comes to certain things.
She is just starting to dip her toe back into the dating waters, and foresees that things will be different this time, although doesn't believe that having children necessarily makes it any harder. Chand believes that honesty is the best policy when it comes to dating as a single parent. As for introducing a new partner to her children, Chand thinks that this is something best left until further down the track. Karen Phillip, a Family Therapist and Parenting Expert, says that there are a number of challenges that single parents face when it comes to dating, and these can be strongly influenced by how long ago a previous relationship ended, the age of the children involved, and a new partner's attitude towards children.
Is my new friend child friendly, and willing to share my time with my children? Does my friend have children as well and will their time be free or dictated? When it comes to going on dates, Phillips agrees with Chand that being upfront is the best way forward. But if you connect with the person, then advising them that you have children is important within a few dates. As a result, it is imperative that the dates you go on as a single parent be worth your precious time.
The good news is you can find such dates on EliteSingles. When you join our site, you tell us about what you are looking for in a partner and we help you find someone who fits the bill. To achieve this we take your personality into account , along with your relationship goals and your location in New Zealand; a three-step process that we believe gives you the best chance of finding someone wonderful. If you are looking for love that is both truly like-minded and truly in harmony with your single parent lifestyle then you are in the right place.
For parents in particular, this is merely the start of a whole new family adventure — and it can help to have a few guidelines. To that end, EliteSingles talked to expert Relationships Coach Sam Owen , to find out the top three rules of single parent dating. Naturally, you can tell your kid s that you've been spending time with a friend, but you want to stress more than once that this does not make your children any less important to you.
This also means that dating for parents can be more complicated than childless dating, as there are more opinions involved! It's only natural for children to be wary of change, so you may need to take things slowly until everyone feels comfortable. Your kids need to know, deep down, that this person is an addition to your family rather than a replacement for them. In the early days of dating it is quite alright to keep your children and your potential partner separate.
It is of course important to let your date know about your kids but it is also essential for any potential partner to get to know you as a single adult, to see if you two have the same spark in real life as you do online. This means making sure to give your new relationship time to flourish, preferably on dates with just the two of you involved. There will, however, come a time when you do want your family and your partner to meet.
There is no one right time for this stage to happen — but, when children are involved, it is best to wait until you feel like your relationship really has a chance of going the distance. If you are relaxed and calm about your single parent dating activities, chances are your child will be too. After all, kids look to their parents as a guide for how they react to situations: Conversley, if they are introduced to this new person as a positive force in their lives they will react accordingly.
You'll benefit from a relaxed attitude, too. After all, there is really only one reason to try single parent dating, and that is to find lasting happiness. Therefore, as you re-enter the dating world it is important to remember that this new adventure should, above all, be fun. The easiest way to find this? Date someone truly compatible from the start: Ready to find it? One child in four in single-parent home.
Mum, Dad and kids no longer typical household.
New Zealand Single Parent Dating
Dating for single parents