If they say no, no big deal—just ask someone else. I usually either dance by myself off in a corner, or just leave. In da club… not so much. Not the guy you want to be. Advice , Ask Dr. If you want dating advice you can take on the go, be sure to check out and if you enjoy them, please don't forget to give a review on Amazon and Goodreads. I'm a woman who works in IT and most guys eventually communicate some level of discomfort with my job.
I have found that the vast majority of times that men raise any type of issue in this manner, they intend to do nothing to address their issues despite their assertions to the contrary. Instead, it usually turns out to be an unspoken request for ME to fix their problems. I would wonder if Girlfriend has been to this rodeo before and may have learned that this particular conversation leads in a bad direction.
If I was in Boyfriend's shoes, I would be deep into therapy before I raised the issue at all. I think it's important for him to have this conversations sooner rather than later, and waiting until he's deep in therapy is going to take a while. I do think you're right that going beyond mere assertions is the right call. I'd suggest having a specific and actionable plan, and for him to let her know how it's going rather than making it her job to ask.
I work in a male dominated field too… I would find the docs prescription appropriate. Find some professional help… so action to solve the problem in works… and then talking to her and coming clean that it is his problem and can you help me out now and then… maybe try using your words. I definitely wouldn't want a boyfriend to wait until he was deep into therapy to reveal this. It's likely some of his insecurity is already visible, and there's a chance it could undermine the relationship before he's made much progress.
I would want him to have found a therapist before bringing it up, though. If a man went through a big, unfiltered insecurity dump while saying he was going to get therapy, I wouldn't necessarily put much faith in the therapy statement. Lots of people say they're going to get therapy when they don't seriously intend to ever get around to it and are mostly expecting their partners to do that work. A guy who'd already found a therapist, gone to a session or two, and put at least a little thought into the discussion would get a much better reaction from me.
I don't work for a law firm. LW2 — is there a reason you need to go to a club? If you actually enjoy that kind of dancing and the music and the general scene, never mind what I'm going to say next. But if you don't: I have always hated clubs but loved dancing I'm a woman, so I can tell you one of the biggest things I hate about clubs is precisely the stranger grinding his bits against me a because I find it icky, b because that's not dancing, that's using me as a prop to get off and that's just gross.
So I very rarely go to one. I do do other kinds of dancing and love that. And once in a blue moon I'll go to a club if it's for a friend's bday or something. In those situations I don't even remotely look at it like a pick up opportunity. Since I hate the attention on those kinds of dance floors so much I just see that evening as an evening to dance with my friends and that's it. Share On email Share On email. Share On sms Share On sms. Share On whatsapp Share On whatsapp. Share On more Share On more Share On more Share On more More.
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