But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. For now, take it easy. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy.
Genuine interest goes a long way. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking. Who has been the biggest influence in your life? What kinds of things really make you laugh? Who is your best friend? Favorite movie of all time?
What is your favorite way to spend a Saturday? No chemistry in person. Not a single spark. You can make these sorts of quick and unconscious assumptions in the early stages of any dating relationship. However, when you meet online and especially when you meet someone who lives far away it is particularly easy to assume that this other person is more suited to us than they actually are. Finally, most of us are not as careful when we meet someone online as we would be if we had met them in a coffee shop.
We share more details about ourselves, more quickly. One obvious solution is to meet in person as soon as possible. This will help you gauge quickly whether there is any in-person chemistry. It can feel a lot more natural to ask and answer questions over a cup of coffee than via email. So what else can help you stay safe and date smart when you meet someone interesting online? Guard yourself against the assumptions and idealizations that can flourish in a long distance relationship.
Remember that the aim of online dating is to find someone who suits you, not just to find someone. Finally, you really need to ask good questions and listen carefully to the answers. If you just rolled your eyes at me, wait! I know this sounds SO simple. There are good reasons that asking questions and listening well are relationship superpowers.
When it comes to online dating and dating in general, really there are no surefire tips to make things work. By asking good questions, online daters can go from sharing interests to sharing drinks. Once you know what your crush likes to drink, you can make a personalized date suggestion to them. Like, hey, I heard about a wine tasting down the road, do you want to go?
Also, according to OkCupid, online daters who like the taste of beer are more likely to have sex on the first date. Which is just good to know. What Were You Like As a Kid, or Where Did You Grow Up? The memories she shares with you are likely dear to her heart and can tell you a lot about her personality as an adult. What Accomplishments Are You Most Proud of? A lot of guys make all kinds of claims about themselves in an attempt to impress the ladies.
Really, though, a great question is more impressive than self-congratulation. Giving a girl a chance to brag on herself is a quick way to make her smile. If you want to get to know someone, ask about their proudest achievements. You could be talking to a world-class chess champion or a viral YouTuber or a proud mother. Her attitude toward her everyday life is an important consideration for daters, particularly for men who are significantly more likely to rate happiness in women as an attractive quality.
Good Online Dating Questions to Ask Guys You can ask guys pretty much anything. You can do that by asking pointed questions to reveal compatibility. If you want to find out who someone is, ask a few good questions about their past experiences, present interests, and future ambitions. Just remember, anything you ask is probably going to be asked right back to you. This is a good question for practical purposes.
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