We're wasting our time with dating apps. A lot of us have heard our friends or ourselves rant about how online dating doesn't work and meeting through friends is so much easier. But the reality is, dating app users were four times more likely to date in In fact, dating apps were a more common means for meeting people, with 40 percent of actively dating singles getting their most recent first dates that way, rather than through mutual friends only 24 percent.
Complaining about Tinder will always be a favorite millennial pastime, and many of our complaints—like the creepy messages we receive —are totally valid. But the claim that it just doesn't work is not. We're having a ton of sex. Compared with our parents' generation, we're 51 percent more likely to be totally uninterested in sex.
Confirming that finding, a study published last year found that people in their twenties and early thirties have less sex than baby boomers and Gen Xers. We're also, for whatever reason, 66 percent less into oral than other generations. And despite fearmongering about our generation's penchant for empty promiscuity, we're actually 40 percent more likely to believe emotional intimacy enhances sex. Online dating is only for the most desperate among us.
Nowadays, online dating is the absolute norm. Most singles 53 percent have made a profile at some point, and almost half 40 percent have met a date online. And then there are straight-up terrible smart dudes: Whatever you think of the word itself — whether or not you think it unfairly categorizes the male gender — it is a very real phenomenon. Lots of women are tired of having men lecture at them about whatever. Men want to impress women. And it is often said to be a quality women want in men.
So we get the unhelpful impulse to brandish it at random. Also, a main genre of dude conversation is the hours-long exchange of minutiae and trivia. Mansplaining is still, at best, tiring. Every woman I know well is fed up with being on the receiving end of male rambling. After all, compare that to your friendly gym-rat type of guy. But now I will do that. You might not like it, though. My advice is this: Learn from the dumb dudes. What I mean is, change up your game a little.
Upon meeting a lovely woman, is your first instinct to say something profound about a giant novel you just read? Instead, ask her some questions about herself. Look for shared interests, or opinions, or just something you can both laugh about. Be warm and genuine first, and verbose later. I have done the same thing in the past, for what it's worth. Get that stuff locked down. Instead of judging, observe.
A man of your intellect should know how valuable that is.
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