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You may always decide what your next step will be. It depends on you! In rural areas a common investigative method is to personally ask about the family of interest by questioning shopkeepers and neighbors: If all criteria are acceptable, the matchmaker arranges an interview for a miai. Kagemi occurred when a potential male candidate attempted to catch a glimpse of the female in secret.
The objective of the kagemi was to prevent embarrassing denials based on appearances. The introduction is often followed by small talk between the parents. Occasionally, the conversation shifts to one of the potential candidates. Toward the end of the meeting, the potential couple are advised to go off spend some time alone to get better acquainted. Kotowari excuse, apology, refusal [ edit ] If the initial miai introduction is successful, the potential couple goes through a series of dates until a decision is reached.
This former outcaste group is composed of descendants of workers traditionally associated with trades involving blood, death, or other undesirables. Some examples are leather-workers, shoe-menders, and butchers since shoes are too dirty to be taken into the house and meat was in the past forbidden by the Buddhist faith. Descendants of people who were exposed to the radiation from the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki are avoided due to stories of possible child deformities and susceptibilities to rare diseases.
According to an estimate in , ten to thirty percent of all marriages that took place in Japan during that time were arranged marriages. It is more of a blind date, and friends, family, co-workers, or employers might set-up the introduction. And that is all it is - an introduction. Many times people will introduce two friends by going out as a group.
If the two being introduced like each other, they will go out on their own. If not, no one loses face, and it was just a fun night out on the town. Several of my co-workers were introduced by the school principal or vice principal. With all of the mandatory parties employees attend in any work environment, it is easy to see why many couples have been introduced by their employers. The day of the wedding these "nakodo" are the first to speak at the wedding party and wish the couple a happy marriage.
A very good friend of my family who is actually considered part of our family was introduced to a very nice lady for marriage. The courtship didn't last long, and they were married, what seemed to be, immediately. Although they are a happily married couple now, after a few years of getting to know each other, the beginning of their relationship was very rough. There was a lot of tension between the two of them, and it seemed they hated each other.
Friends held an intervention to help the relationship along, and now they are happily married and a wonderful couple to be around. If friends, family, and employers aren't successful, there are professional services to turn to for help in finding a future spouse. I must warn you, some of these services come at a very high price. While several services are very much like western dating services, others rely on the "omiai" system and have the main objective of making marriages happen.
Long courtships may occur, but usually the clients dont mess around with all of that dating and get right into the marriage.
Matchmaking events aim to pair rural men with city women willing to move
Matchmaking in Japan
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