It may sound like overkill, but your life and safety are NEVER to be taken lightly. If you tell me you're planning to go to where he is and not tell anyone, I will scream. Going to hotels with strange men you think you know is how you end up becoming the real-life inspiration for an episode of SVU. ANYWAY, back to the physical-contact thing.
You can TOTALLY be intimate with this man if he ends up not being a sociopath. You do not have to wait around like a nun if the passion and fire are there. You're going to a different state I assume? There is nothing wrong with making the rendezvous hot and heavy. If you really like him and he really likes you, what's stopping you? You're an adult and can make your own decisions. Don't deprive yourself of an orgasm because of some outdated idea of what makes a woman a "lady.
Let your freak flag fly, mama! In fact, get yourself a new sex toy for the occasion. Have him buy something he wants to try too. Forget being coy; you two are super-into each other and should have an absolutely fabulous time together. Hotel sex is the best sex because you can get away with a lot, make a ton of noise, and the setting is a sex novelty.
Keep in mind that you've been virtually dating for months. If you were in the same place, you'd most likely have already spent many nights together. Plus, it sounds like you've really been building it up with him. There is nothing like the release after a slow build. I assume you already know this, and are just looking for someone to tell you to go for it. No, if he is a keeper. My fiance and I meet through work and flirted for two months before going out for the first time. Chances are, if I wasn't feeling a mental connection, we weren't going on a second date or having sex anyway, and I probably already faked an emergency to get out of dodge.
If I think we are on a similar mental level, let's have sex before we get any further. For example, let's say that the date is with a person you've known for years and they asked you to dinner. Dinner went extremely well. You get back to your home and invite him in. That's not too early, because you've done all the getting-to-know-you part years in advance. Now the only question is: Are we sexually compatible?
I would say sex on the first date depends on a lot of factors. Trying to form that bond after spending a few hours with someone is impossible. It takes months, maybe even years, to build that closeness with someone. You open yourself up at the inner level of your true being [when you have sex] -- that's a very big step to take with someone. I'm no longer with either of these people. I firmly believe that, as long as you practice safe sex, an individual should feel free to have sex with whomever they choose on whatever 'date' number it is.
I love sex, and if the sex isn't good, it wouldn't have been worth continuing the relationship. However, it's been three years since I have had sex, and last year, all the STD tests came back clean. I decided that, if I ever have sex again, whoever it is with will need to submit to STD and HIV testing prior to us having sex -- and the results need to be spotless.
It's probably because I am older now, but I've taken too many risks in the past, and I now realize people need to earn the privilege of having sex with me. Growing up, mistakes are made, and sometimes you've got to try something for yourself to see you actually don't like it.
Why More People Are Having Sex on the First Date
From Online to In-Person: Navigating the First Date
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